While our son was growing up I began to wonder, "What is an outstanding environment for children?" I decided that, for me, it is an environment where children feel loved, appreciated, feel good about themselves, are helped to explore their interests, and feel inspired to keep learning. Then I began to ask myself, "How can we help create an outstanding environment for our child?"
In his Nightingale-Conant audio CD program, "What Do You Really Want for Your Children?" Dr. Wayne Dyer encourages parents to become role models of the kind of behavior, beliefs, values, and attitudes that we would like our children to develop. While listening to Dr. Dyer my husband and I were reminded that children model what they see their parents do and what they hear them say.
Dr. Dyer’s funny stories about raising his own children helped me realize that as parents we can make the choice to become a better role model for our children in the areas where we feel we need to set a better example.
Learning that my son would be modeling my beliefs and behavior inspired me to pay attention to my current set of beliefs and my own behavior. I took a good look at myself and I realized that there were plenty of ways I could be a better example for my son. I began to work on goals to help me be a better mom and be a better role model for him.
Following are some questions that have been helpful to me in becoming a better role model for my son:
1. What BEHAVIOR do I want my child to model?
2. What BELIEFS do I want my child to model?
3. What VALUES do I want my child to model?
4. What do I want my child to SEE me do?
5. What do I want my child to HEAR me say?
What do the children in your life see you doing? Do they see you reading? Writing? Learning? Exercising? Eating healthy foods? Giving your time to help others? Doing work you enjoy? Making a positive difference in the lives of people who know you?
Do they see you as someone who decided you knew it all once you finished school? Or do they see you as someone who enjoys learning and intends to be a life-long learner?
What do they hear you saying? Do they often hear you comparing what you have (or don’t have) with other people? Or do they hear you talking about how grateful you are for all that you DO have in your life?
Dr. Dyer also believes in “catching kids doing things right.” He suggests that parents give MORE attention for a child's good behavior than for bad behavior. (He says that too often kids get MORE attention for behaving badly than they do for good behavior.) What gets more of your attention?
Kids who get attention for behaving badly will continue doing things that get them attention because even negative attention is better than none! We have found it to be true, as Dr. Dyer says, that if parents notice and reward good behavior their children will enjoy the positive attention and they will want to do more things that get them the positive attention that feels so good.
Teachers who love to teach can also be positive role models for children. They can help children enjoy learning by providing a positive classroom environment that inspires and encourages children to do their best.
Because we have found Dr. Dyer’s advice to be the best we have received as parents we donated copies of his book, and the inspiring audio program, to the libraries in our son's elementary and middle school.
Dr. Dyer’s advice has helped us feel amazing amounts of love and joy as parents. Even now I sometimes listen to the CDs while driving in my car. The CDs are full of reminders to do what we know in our hearts will make a difference for us — and for all of the children in our Circle of Influence. I am glad we listened to Dr. Dyer's advice and have kept looking for ways to be a better example for our son.
We can each make the decision to do what we can to help create an outstanding environment for children. Think of the difference it makes for children to have positive role models at home, in school, in sports and in other community activities as well. Feeling good about themselves helps children learn and it helps them enjoy life.
A child’s environment — especially the people in it — greatly influence the mental, emotional, and social development of the child. Positive attitudes, beliefs, and habits greatly increase a child’s success in school and they can also help children have better relationships with the people in their life — now and in years to come. An interesting thing to note is that an outstanding environment for children is also an outstanding environment for us as adults. The people we spend time with continue to influence us and we continue to influence them. I encourage you to spend as much time as you can with people who have a positive influence on you.
What helps create an outstanding environment for everyone?
Here are a few things we can choose to do:
• Encourage and inspire others to explore their interests
• Tell the truth with courage, kindness, grace, and love
• Catch them doing things right
• Show them the benefits of a positive attitude
• Be an example of someone who likes to learn and enjoys life
What will you do to help create an inspiring and outstanding environment for the children — and adults — who are in your Circle of Influence?
